I tell my clients all the time to stop shoulding on themselves. Sounds a lot like sh*tting on yourself doesn’t it? In essence it’s the same thing. Hang with me now and let me explain.
When was the last time you told yourself that you shouldn’t have eaten something? Maybe it was this morning after you grabbed a donut at church. Maybe it was last night when you had a second glass of wine. Sometimes we tell ourselves we shouldn’t have fallen off the diet wagon and gained back the lost weight or that we should have stayed on that keto plan that worked so well for us in 2019.
Thinking we should or shouldn’t sounds like we are just keeping it real but it’s just another disguised form of self abuse. When we think we should have done or been something different, we spiral into shame, guilt and self flagellation. Ok, maybe not literally the flagellation part but the shame and guilt are definitely present and help to keep us perpetually stuck in the same cycle of using food to feel better.
Let’s break the cycle of self abuse and stop saying we should or shouldn’t. Those words won’t move you forward. Those words are just challenging the truth of reality. When you do something, you couldn’t have possibly done it differently because you would have if you could. Can you do something differently in the future? Of course but you won’t change your past so stop trying to. Learn to accept who you are now and find compassion for the person that might not have been perfect back then. Learn to make decisions for the future you instead of kicking yourself for decisions already made.
Look, none of us got where we are today by sh*tting on ourselves so let’s stop shoulding on ourselves as too.